CIE: Day 2 in which we find the backyard

Morgan:

I thought I'd write a haiku, I want to expand my writing genres. One day my writing prowess will be lauded by shepards across this great nation. Nation Morgan , I'd like to call it.

Vast land is my yard.
Covered trees abound. My tears
Of joy are many.

Kasey:

I'm so very glad I have the bladder capacity of a large elephant and the control of a septuagenarian. That way I can mark everything faster than Morgan. She's so silly, she's still crying. Who knew she was so sensitive?
All of this area, this backyard, and it's all MINE! This is mine and that is mine and this is mine and that is mine and this is mine and that is mine and this is mine and that is mine and this is mine and that is mine and this is mine and that is mine and this is mine and that is mine and this is mineand that is mine and this is mineand that is mine and this is mineand that is mine and this is mineand that is mine and this is mineand that is mine and this is mineand that is mine and this is mine!

Critters in Exile: Day 1

Critters Log, November 19, 2007: ExileDate001/730:

We report the sudden loss of the squawking one, whom we shall miss tremendously. In honor of the not-so-much flying bird, we have composed a top 10 list. Hey, what ELSE are we going to do in the car?

The Top Ten Reasons Why Dogs are Better than Cats...

no wait..not THAT one...Watts is hissing again...THIS one...

The Top 10 Reasons Why Wish Will Be Missed
10. Feeders kept on radio channels we liked, "for Wish". Rap or NPR sure beats watching soap operas.
9. After a steep learning curve, we understood he squawked because he loved us.
8. Although never obvious, we knew that he would have liked to perch upon our furry backs.
7. Oh wow!!! Another dog in a car!
6-2. Omitted because of doggie ADHD
1. He shared his food. Insta-critter adulation for the avian.

Day 5-A suitable substitute

Wish: Today marks a milestone in my relationship with the Human. I have finally beguiled her into taking me onto her shoulder. It must have been my hooting and 'pretty bird' calls, and all of the subliminal messages I have pooed onto the cage floor. It's not easy to scrawl "Human, be mine" when you are preoccupied with the daily duties! And, I'm rather enjoying the radio station. NPR indeed. My Bird Quotient has risen 10 points each passing day. And, the "jazzy nights" that she listens to is great. I may take up the alto saxophone if my mommies let me. (My new name is Dizzy "Wish the Bird" Parker.) And speaking of "letting"...please do not *let* the Human dance anymore. Even to Cuban mambo, she manages to make the body form look like a squirming wet noodle on too many steroids.

Kasey: Eeeee! Aaaaaccck! OOOOOOOO My! What. Was. That? Was that a grey foreboding cloud? aaaaaaaa! eeee! oooohhhh! I know what that means! It means that the aliens are coming! Run! Hide! Scratch up the floor! Apparently the Human is taking up mumbling in her spare time..."Preemptive Benadryl for you Kasey Dogg"...what does THAT mean?

Morgan: Even though it was raining so the Human couldn't walk us, life is OK. Hey, this girl dances like Martha Graham. (Did someone say graham cracker??) I'm howling in happiness. I think that I'll roll up into the smallest ball of fur that a 70 pound fine classy dame such as myself can. Good night!

Watts: It was a wet food day, and if I had opposable thumbs, I'd twitch my multiple nipples in sheer joy. Whatever. I'll give myself a bath instead.

(insert obligatory Human remarks HERE about loving critters both great and small, because that's what Coleridge says we should do. although I doubt the word critter fits into iambic pentamber well. cheerio!)

Day 4-DoggerLords demonstrate Mad Skills

Morgan and Kasey: The best part of our walks is amusing the Human with our amazing ability to pee every 30 seconds. We must have wowed her by now. Today was a weekend, she said. What is this *weekend* that she speaks of? Isn't every day the same: wake up, get let out, get fed, have fun playing, sleep for many hours, watch TV, chew on bones, go on walks, eat dinner, get let out s'more, and scritching and rubbing for the asking. Weekend???

Watts: I am now surprising the Human by greeting her at the door step when she comes into MY home. Like I am super stealthy and knows when she's coming home. Soon she will understand that I mean to have wet food daily.

Wish: {sigh} Look kids, Big Ben. Parliment.

Day 3-These Nails are made for Scritchin

Wish: Ohhhh, how I do miss my mummy! This new Human is quite inadequate indeed. Although recently she has gained enough courage to scritch my neck, it is still rather lonely here on my perch. Perhaps she will allow me to stand on her shoulder. I will woo her with my sensual chirping, and lullabies of "pretty girl".

(I never realized Wish had an English accent)

Morgan: Ok so she took out Kasey first this time. And I am here at home, soooo not happy, waiting for my turn. I just know that she and Kasey are talking about me! And, last time she took Kasey out for 1.2234 minutes longer. I sure hope that transgression is remedies, or else I'll have to look menancing...or something like that. The Human give us treats often, in what I will now dub SAT-Spontaneous Act of Treats.

Watts: I like this Human, she is a good temporary Staff Member. She put out a paper bag for me and scratched me often. But I miss my mommies.

Kasey Dogg: Well, it's tough to be the favorite dogg. But, I am really cute and charming. If Morgan is so jealous about getting walked last, she just needs to wait until Day 4. See, I know that the Human takes turns about who walks first. (the fact that I know this shows how clever I am)

Day 2-Treat Bender

Wattsa: Of course Morgan and Kasey nominate ME to type first. My style and panache far exceeds their charm. This "blogging" thing is going to be great, now I can finally get the word out to the TomKats in Tree Town that this pussy is ready for a good time. Ooooops. Did I just say that? Maybe I've been reading Kukka-Maria's journal-from-exile a bit too much. Anyhooo. My hard day of resting and ignoring that squacking thing all day was interrupted by the Human. She is really gullible. I saunter upstairs, and stick up my tail, expecting treats. Usually the Mommies laugh and say "awwww, Watts. No.", but this Human cooed and started to pet me and gave me four (FOUR!) treats. 'Cuse me whilest I go sleep off my euphoria.

Kasey Dogg:
oooohhhh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy A WALK! I get a walk! And all I had to do was look cute!! Oh yes oh yes oh yes! Life. Cannot. Get. Better. (Is that the melatonin talking?) No. Wait. I see the Human opening the Peanut Butter.....

Morgan:
I so can not believe Kasey passed out at the sight of those Peanut Butter treats. I mean, yeah, the walk was super-duper fantastic. It's not everyday she takes me out for a half hour walk. But I tried really hard to contain my absolute and utter enthusiasm. Unlike Kasey. Sheesh! At this rate, she'll never have the Human trained. But I will be strong, I will...ohhhhhhh noooooo. She's scritching my back. With both hands. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

(The Human rudely interrupt here with a gentle reminder to make sure all your pets are loved, 'cause they'll love you back ten-fold. Kasey just gave me kiss!)

Day 1-The Human Arrives

Welcome to my home-away-from home. I'll be here the next few days, getting trained by two dogs, a cat, and a bird.

Here are my masters, unfortunately Morgan is camera-shy:

Kasey Dogg

Morgan

Wattsa Katt-the Incredible, Bendable, Moldable Kitty

Wish "Just say Eh" Bird

I walk into the door, knowing what awaited me: bunches of fur, a layer of slobber, and two very happy doggs. Although they were a bit confused as to why I wasn't their mommies, they quickly realized that this is not such a bad thing. Why?
Because Aunties don't know their routine. Aunties don't know they aren't supposed to get treats or whatnots. Aunties can be guilted into long daily walks. Aunties can spoil rotten. But...Aunties need to be trained.
Did you know humans get trained just like dogs and cats? Positive reinforcement in the form of a wagging tail or a happy 'meow' works like a bar of chocolate at an all-girls high school (trust me on that last part).
So...I am getting trained. As a premise of successful training, the DoggerLords and KittyQueen are insisting on learning this whole "blogging" thing so they can tell you their side of the story. Soooo...without further ado. I present to you: Morgan, Kasey, and Watts.